TATER HOG CUSTOM LURES         

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author “THE LURE PROFESSOR”  and do not necessarily reflect the official views of Tater Hog Custom Lures. They were written under the freedom of speech laws that I think still exsist in this great country we all live in. If you feel your offended by the words, expressions  or comments written by this author please don’t read it. You have that right!  But the questions was ask and Tater Hog Custom Lures can not control the advice the lure professor gives.

 THE FOLLOWING ARTICLE IS RATED PG-13. Meaning their are words you will hear in a PG-13 movie. Please keep your children away from reading it as it was ment for adult eyes only.

Dear Lure Professor:

How do you big-time custom lure builders come up with all those lure color names?  Some of them of course, are self-explanatory, but, Salad bar, Mad Cow, Cell Mate, Flame Grape, and Periwinkle Shad?  Whoever thought a bass would want to eat something, or, that a fisherman might want to throw something called a Mustard Biscuit Baby Hoochiemama?

Confused in Ohio

Dear Confused in O.

Remember when you were little (under 21), and a grownup would ask what you wanted to be when you grew up?  No matter what your age, was Fishing Lure Color Concoctor ever among your choices?  Didn’t think so.  You know why?  Because Fishing Lure Anything is beyond the scope of fashionable, desirable, reasonable, or even a fathomable career choice to most folks, in most places, who tend to think in terms of Teacher, Fireman, Policeman, Doctor, or Veterinarian,  as a likely career field.  Now, if you happen to live in some nefarious locale where Turtle Skinner, Stripper, Race Track Tout, Fishing Guide, Insurance Salesman, or a Moonshiner is in your frame of reference as shining role models, you may well dream of a career in the custom fishing tackle industry.  You might think I’m a bit slow in making my point, but you asked; and it is essential for you to understand that Lure Advisors, and other left-of-way-left-of-center individuals who can look at a fishing lure, and see Mustard Biscuit Baby Hoochiemama, probably were not born in the subdivision down the freeway.

There are all kinds of reasons for giving our lure colors the names we do. Some color names are descriptive of particular forage, such as Sunfish, or Spring Crawfish, some describe both the forage and the purchaser, such as Sucker, and many venerable names have been handed down through several generations of lure manufacturing.  The color Coach Dog is a good example.  Dalmatians, the great mascots of Firehouses throughout the country, were popularly know as Coach Dogs because they were regularly seen on firefighting coaches since nearly the beginning of organized firefighting.  Dalmatians are white and dappled black.  Many color names have sprung from this tradition of naming colors, then, by what the colors may represent to the painter.  One trendy lure company has a color named “Dirty-Sanchez” which is at least, off-color, and possibly racist, slang for a feces mustache.  That’s “shit”, to you and me.  If you don’t quite “get it”, ask around in your nearest dirty book store or red-light district.  Don’t know where one is?  Ignorance is bliss, I’ve always heard.  Rejoice in your bliss.

Quite by coincidence, (indeed) I found myself naming a new color just this morning. It began with bright transparent yellow over pearl, but before it ended with several other yellows, oranges etc. stirred into my gun’s paint cup I found myself staring at a color on my crankbait that I hadn’t seen anywhere since childhood:  Duck egg yolk yellow; not to be confused with sunrise yellow, school bus yellow, safety yellow, banana, baby-shit yellow, vitamin piss yellow, or bee’s ass yellow. Fertilized domestic white duck’s egg yolk, over easy, softly sizzling in the bacon grease of a well-seasoned black iron skillet; that is the complete description of that particular image, from back in the days when my Dad would fix a hearty breakfast before school for my sister and me, and allowed no good egg or hog brain to go to waste.  But you’ll know in the tackle trade as Duck egg-yolk yellow.  And when “Scrambled Eggs Hog Brains is all the rage in a swimbait color on Amistad, you’ll know where that originated too.

So, Confused in O, I hope this helps you grasp a concept or two about lure color naming.  I will leave you with a brief cautionary tale.  A friend of mine, a fantastic custom lure painter, and a fine pro bass angler whose initials may or may not be Jim M. Jr., and may or may not be from Georgia, insisted on calling one of his colors Periwinkle Shad.  He was warned (subtly) that perhaps he might want to reconsider his color name.  After a top 5 Elite Series finish last year, it all began going wrong.  I heard (or maybe I didn’t) there was a covert group of anglers sabotaging his fishing holes the night before each of his tournaments the rest of the season.  Maybe that is just a rumor.  Maybe not.

I’m not sure where all this color name madness might end, as recently manufacturers are openly competing it seems, by inventing the most outlandish color names.  Tater Hog called me just the other day to tell me that his latest color is called Gonorrhea Swollen Chub.  Hell, I don’t guess it’s any worse than Dirty Sanchez!